Where do you even begin? How can you find people with similar interests, values, and aspirations who will love you and your work? Finding your tribe and drawing them in can be tricky. Most of us flounder a bit when it comes to finding people who get us on a deeper level. You want to create things that make them feel heard, too. We love that about you. So, to help, we’ve compiled a list of 9 ways to find your people.
What Does Find Your Tribe Mean?
Everyone has a different idea of what a tribe is. For you, one of the following descriptions may resonate more than the others. We’re talking about a group of people who:
Make you feel most like yourselfTreat you like family and always has your backSupport your goals and help you learn what you need to learnChallenge your perspective and beliefs to help you grow
It’s important to remember that finding your tribe is a process, not a simple task. You won’t immediately find what you’re looking for. You have plenty of searching (internal and external) to look forward to. Before you can find your people, you first need to understand yourself.
9 Ways to Find Your Tribe
There are many steps in the process of finding your people. To help you in your noble quest, we’ve compiled a list of helpful tips to remember. Give each your thoughtful consideration and think of how you’ll apply at least one of them today.
1. Get to know yourself better.
Do you ever wonder what does “your vibe attracts your tribe” mean? Knowing yourself will help you find the people who resonate with you. Ultimately, it’s about how you come across to other people. And that has everything to do with what’s going on inside. The better you know yourself, the more you’ll feel attracted to those who can help you learn and grow, either by supporting or challenging you (or both). No matter how different you think you are, there will always be people who get you. You just have to find yourself before you can find them.
2. Get clear on what you want (from your tribe).
Know what you’re looking for, and don’t be afraid to pursue it. Even if you want to spend your life serving others, you have needs and interests for a reason. Take them seriously. Maybe you want a tribe that lifts you up and reminds you not to quit. Perhaps you want a tribe to encourage you but also act as impulse control when things get crazy. Or maybe you’re looking to help someone else with their own journey. If you know what you’re looking for, it’s much easier to find it.
3. Be open-minded.
The biggest mistake we make when meeting new people is judging too soon. First impressions are important, but they can’t tell you everything about a person. Keeping an open mind is essential when it comes to building relationships. Don’t write someone off before you give them a real chance. You might miss an opportunity to form a deeper connection than you might expect. That said, listen to your gut when those alarm bells start ringing.
4. Get out there.
You’re not going to meet your tribe if you’re not looking. It’s unlikely they will come knocking at your door without an invitation. You have to take the initiative. Maybe go to a public event or get involved in volunteer work. You can even try a new coffee shop or restaurant. Go where you’ll find people who share your core values but who also might challenge your perspective and help you learn something new. Getting out there means going outside your comfort zone. Or what’s the point?
5. Try online spaces.
You can also form connections from the comfort of your couch. Finding an online community has never been easier. There are hundreds of online groups in which you can participate. Some people find their tribe through an Instagram comment. Others find it in a Twitter feed or a Facebook group or by answering people’s questions on Quora. Don’t be afraid to meet people online. You can form meaningful connections with people from all over the world. 37 Fun And Painless Ways To Meet New People 25 Of The Most Interesting Questions To Ask People To Draw Them Out 50 Best Friend Tag Questions And How to Play Master Badassery: 21 Ways To Be A True Badass
6. Try new things.
Maybe you’ll meet your new best friend at a yoga class, or you’ll find a bunch of new people at a skating park. You might find that you have a lot in common with your dance teacher — or someone in your book club — or a fellow protester. You already know who you are and what you want, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try new things. The more experiences you have, the more you can grow as a person. And think of all the people you’ll meet along the way! What are you waiting for?
7. Accept differences.
Even when you find your tribe, you won’t agree on everything. It’s normal and healthy to have differences. Just because you relate to someone doesn’t mean you’ll have the same preferences. You don’t have to do everything together. Maybe you want to try skydiving, but no one else does. That’s okay! You can still be there to support each other. A tribe should lift you up because of your differences, not despite them.
8. Show an interest in meeting new people.
You aren’t going to find new people if you don’t express an interest in meeting them. People in your familiar circle like to know you care about what matters to them. Get to know a variety of people to see what you can learn from each. Did you enjoy the conversation you had with your coworker? Tell her. Ask for her number and set up a time to meet. Express an interest in getting to know her better. Don’t be afraid to let your interest in other people be known.
9. Ditch your shyness and reach out.
Reaching out to new people can be scary. Sometimes, it’s hard to know how they’ll respond. But if you don’t put the effort in, you’ll get nowhere. Maybe you’ve been texting someone for a while, but you haven’t spent more than a few minutes together. Why not ask them to meet for coffee? Don’t wait for them to make the first move. And don’t second-guess yourself. Channel your inner badass and reach out to someone whose company and conversation intrigues you or feels like home.
How Do I Connect with My Tribe?
It may take a while to form a deep bond with those in your tribe. It’s helpful to express a willingness to connect, even if that connection may take time. Here are a few ways to form a connection:
Find a common interest. Differences are great, but you need to have things in common, too. Find something that interests you both, and talk about it. Try new things together. New experiences help you grow, and sharing those experiences can bring you closer to someone. Try a food that neither of you has had before, or go somewhere new together. Learn to speak their (love) language. Romantic couples aren’t the only ones that benefit from knowing each other’s love language. Take a quiz to learn your own, and don’t be shy about getting to know the love languages of people who matter to you.Get them a personal gift. Even if you don’t know everything about them, you can add some personal touches to a gift. Maybe get them something with their favorite color. It’s a small thing, but it shows you care enough to pay attention.Make time for meaningful conversations. Even if you’re only connecting online, make time for thoughtfully-worded and meaningful interactions with your people. They’ll appreciate it, and you’ll strengthen what’s already there.
Have you found your tribe?
Finding your tribe is a process and an important one. When you encounter people who build you up, challenge you, and help you grow, your life changes for the better. Humans are social creatures, after all, whether we like it or not. Your connections with other people make your life richer and help you discover your purpose. Now that you know how to find your tribe, it’s time to get out there and find them. Try new things, build new relationships, and be open. Don’t let the fear of judgment get in your way.
